At Informed Early Years, our mission is to empower parents and professionals to nurture children through understanding, compassion, and relational approaches. A fundamental aspect of this mission is recognising that all behaviour is communication—especially in young children who may not yet have the words to express their needs, feelings, or discomforts. Understanding what your child is trying to communicate through their behaviour is crucial to meeting their needs and fostering a supportive, nurturing environment.
Why Behaviour Equals Communication
Children, particularly those in early developmental stages, rely heavily on their behaviour to express themselves. When a child acts out, it's not just about the act itself but what it represents—an unmet need, a feeling of insecurity, frustration, or simply a need for attention, attachment and the feeling of being loved. Tuning into these signals and interpreting them correctly is essential in guiding them through their emotions and helping them develop healthy coping mechanisms.
"behaviours, often signs of dysregulation, present unique challenges and opportunities to connect with your child"
Types of Behaviour Across Ages and Stages
As children grow, their behaviour evolves, often leading to moments of dysregulation. You might have seen this referred to as 'tantrums' or other negative labels, but using more relational language allows us to focus on the underlying needs rather than the behaviour itself. Infants may cry or fuss, toddlers might become clingy, and pre-schoolers may test boundaries—all signs that they need support and understanding. By shifting our language and perspective, we create opportunities to connect and address these needs more effectively.
The Impact of Environment
The environment plays a significant role in shaping a child’s behaviour. Overstimulating settings, inconsistent routines, or a lack of safe spaces can all contribute to disruptive, challenging or unwanted behaviours. It's important to create environments that are conducive to a child's well-being—calm, predictable, and responsive to their needs.
Symptoms vs Solutions
Many traditional behaviour management methods focus on addressing the symptoms rather than the root causes of behaviour. Time-outs, exclusion from activities, naughty steps, or other punitive measures may stop the behaviour temporarily but fail to address why it occurred in the first place. A relational approach, by contrast, seeks to understand the ‘why’ behind the behaviour and addresses the underlying needs, leading to more lasting and meaningful change.
"remember that each child is unique, with their own experiences and needs"
Managing Adult Expectations
As adults, we often expect children to behave in certain ways—sitting still, participating in activities, or responding immediately to instructions. When children don't conform, it can be frustrating, especially if we compare them to others who seem more compliant. However, it’s crucial to remember that each child is unique, with their own experiences and needs. Being flexible and adjusting our expectations can prevent unnecessary stress for both the child and the adult.
Relational Approaches vs Traditional Methods
Traditional behaviour management methods—such as punishment or rewards—often miss the opportunity to connect with the child and understand their needs. Relational approaches, on the other hand, focus on building trust, understanding, and compassion. By viewing behaviour as communication, we can respond in ways that meet the child's emotional and developmental needs, leading to healthier outcomes.
Understanding behaviour as communication is key to nurturing well-adjusted, emotionally resilient children. It requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to look beyond the surface to understand the deeper needs driving the behaviour. At Informed Early Years, we're committed to helping you develop these skills through our e-learning courses, support packages and training resources.
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Begin your journey towards understanding and responding to children's behaviour in a way that promotes well-being and development. And don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter to stay informed about new resources, courses, and tips for supporting children’s emotional and social growth.
Book Recommendation
The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson: A book that explores how to nurture a child’s developing mind.
Together, we can make a difference.
Carly
Lead Consultant
Have you seen our E-learning course Introduction to Behaviour as Communication: Understanding and Responding to Children's Needs—a perfect starting point for those wanting to dive deeper into this crucial topic. 👇
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