When it comes to young children, behaviour is their primary form of communication. The small, day-to-day challenges—whether it’s a child not listening, ignoring instructions, or having meltdowns—are part of every parent and professional’s experience. But these 'low-level behaviours' offer more than frustration—they offer insight. What if, instead of seeing these moments as disruptions, we viewed them as opportunities for connection and growth?
At Informed Early Years, we believe in the power of a relational approach—one that understands the underlying needs and emotions behind children's behaviours.
Why Low-Key Strategies Work
Low-level behaviours often go unnoticed or brushed aside until they escalate into bigger issues. However, these small moments—like a child refusing to sit for snack time, wandering off, or throwing minor tantrums (becoming dysregulated)—can tell us so much about their emotional state. Often, these behaviours stem from underlying unmet needs, such as tiredness, hunger, or feeling overwhelmed.
So why is it important to respond calmly and proactively, rather than reactively? It's about setting the stage for co-regulation—where the adult helps the child manage their big feelings. This is particularly crucial because, as research in neuroscience shows, young children are not born with self-regulation skills. These abilities need to be modelled and learned over time. A child’s brain in a state of 'fight, flight or freeze' due to stress or dysregulation cannot think rationally or problem-solve. They need a calm, trusted adult to help them feel safe enough to settle down.
The Power of Connection: Co-Regulation
One of the core concepts at Informed Early Years is co-regulation—where the adult provides a calm, nurturing presence that helps the child feel safe enough to manage their emotions. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver, your emotional state deeply impacts the child. When children are dysregulated, we need to help them move out of the fight, flight, or freeze response.
Consider how you react in stressful moments. Do you find it difficult to stay calm when a child is becoming dysregulated? Are you able to recognise what the child needs in that moment?
These moments are crucial in building strong attachments and promoting emotional development. At Informed Early years, we talk about the term 'dysregulation' a lot. It replaces older, more negative language like 'tantrum' or 'naughty behaviour'. It's important to use language that recognises the child’s struggle rather than labels them negatively. By shifting your mindset, you shift your responses—setting the foundation for a stronger relationship. Recognising this allows you to respond with empathy, addressing the root cause rather than the behaviour itself.
Reflection Points and Strategies
A major part of this journey is self-reflection. How do you currently respond to low-level behaviours? What patterns do you notice in your reactions? This process of reflection helps build self-awareness and accountability in how we approach challenging behaviours.
For example, a child who continuously avoids group activities may be signalling that they are overwhelmed by the noise or social demands. Instead of pushing them to join, you could provide a quiet space and invite them to observe until they feel comfortable. The key is finding what works for each child remembering that they are unique as individuals.
Top Tips for Staying Calm
Consider practical, simple strategies designed to keep you grounded in those tough moments:
Breathe First, React Second: Your calm presence is the foundation for co-regulation. Take a deep breath before responding to the child's behaviour.
Recognise Triggers Early: Use the behaviour tracker in our latest workbook to pre-empt moments of dysregulation and address the child’s needs before things escalate.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Remember, every behaviour is communication. By addressing these low-level behaviours with empathy and understanding, you create an environment where the child feels heard and supported. Let this be your guide to not just managing behaviour, but transforming it into an opportunity for connection.
Ready to get started? Download the FREE Low-Key Strategies for Low-Level Behaviours workbook now and begin your journey to a more relational, compassionate approach to parenting and caregiving.
Explore More: Dive into our blog posts on co-regulation, trauma-informed practices, and understanding children’s behaviours for more insights to help develop your knowledge in compassionate and relational practice.
Warmest regards,
Carly Blackburn
Founder, Informed Early Years
Are you Accredited in understanding Adverse childhood Experiences? Click below for more details!
Comments